<![CDATA[DID NOT SEE THAT COMING

<![CDATA[DID NOT SEE THAT COMING - blog]]>Tue, 28 Apr 2026 11:17:36 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Time and Money]]>Sun, 12 Jul 2015 16:27:52 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/time-and-money

In a recent Face Book survey I asked “what the biggest struggle for single parents?” You answered: Time, Money, and issues with sharing and raising children.

Where to start? Time? Money? Let’s take money. I am not a financial guru and I am not going to tell you how to spend your money. I will tell you that there were many years when I wasn’t sure if my kids would get to bring home their school pictures because of lack of funds. There were many meals where we ate “Ramen Again?” All this to say that when I look back on those days I can’t look to my check book and tell you how we did it. In fact if I looked to my check book there was always “NOT ENOUGH.”

What I learned was my check book or bank account didn’t reflect what was possible. I chose to believe that things would work out. I chose to believe that what we needed would show up. I chose to not live in “not enough” it wasn’t easy, and logically it felt insane. I was working full time and raising three kids and at the end of the pay check their wasn’t money for “fun” or clothing or extra’s.

I shared with cousin Donna one particularly pity party evening, “How am I going to make it?” her wisdom stopped me in my tracks. “I don’t go there, it is too dangerous.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. I am all about the pity party if you have read “Did Not See That Coming: Hope for the single parent” I was thrown a pity party and it changed my life. So cousin Donna saying don’t go there sort of pulled the rug out from under me. I looked out my window while on the phone with her and on the sill was the big black words BELIEVE!! That was my answer, my stronghold, that is where I would continue to get strength for one more day.

As a life coach I know what we focus on is what we get. When my focus was on paying bills, I got bills. I know this seems backwards, but “I have to pay my bills” is actually a negative. So I changed my thoughts to “Awesome I am paying this bill.” It is such a subtle shift but the way we think is crucial to what shows up in our lives.
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Recently I watched a video of a Comedian/Motivational Speaker, he tells the story how he was up for Comedy Central’s Comedian of the year and just before the voting was done, CC pulled his special and ran the special for his competitor. Rather than “whaaaa that’s not fair.” He was so excited, he thought man how powerful am I that a TV network pulled my special to help the other guy win!!! Guess who won? Right, Kyle Cease, I love that way of thinking.

I choose that way of thinking. In the beginning it is hard, but as we take every thought captive and pay attention to what we are thinking, things will change. And really, what have you got to loose? Remember the story in the Bible about Jesus feeding the thousands with just a couple of loaves of bread and a few fish?

I dare you to notice, then change your thinking. Start a gratitude journal and focus on all that you do have and all you are grateful for.

It might be a little hard at first but like any new AWESOME behavior it is WORTH the effort, it is a gift you can pass on to your children.

I dare you!!!
Coach Laurie

]]><![CDATA[Yes It's Mothers Day]]>Sun, 10 May 2015 17:44:38 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/yes-its-mothers-day

Yes, it’s Mothers Day!!!

I am the director of a day center for homeless women and children. Shelly our wonderful volunteer who brings fresh flowers every week, brought roses for all the moms. I am not going to lie, it was a HIT!!! Now with that said, here is some history. Some of the mom’s have lost children to CPS, some have at least one with them, some none. But they were so touched to have a rose for being a mom. Some women couldn’t have children and not only that their mom has passed on. They loved getting a rose. One mom can’t ever see her children again, ever!!! and she was so very proud of her rose. One mom, who’s son is in rehab, went into rehab but couldn’t stay, she came to get some rest from the streets, she was so blessed by that rose. Three mom’s who are working so very hard to do everything required to get their kids back, loved the rose, but no big deal.

It wasn’t about what kind of mom they were, it was that someone cared enough to bring a homeless woman a rose.

We all have Mother's day issues. Whether it is an expectation of how to be treated or which mom to have dinner with. It is a day that stirs frustration and memories of good times and bad, losses and pain. I hope that on this mothers day, you can look inside and see the person that God sees. It is not about what you do or how well you have served, it is because you are here and you were created to love and be loved. When we look inside it is so easy to see “not enough” change the language, you are enough, you deserve love, the past is the past and God’s grace and mercy is enough.

I am learning that all we have to do is change the language from hate to love. For ourselves and others. Letting go of judgement, forgiving, not easy, but it is life. Some of us don’t want to live, I mean really live, we want to stay stuck on our lack. Our “not enough” so we stay in pain. Our time here is short, my goal is to let go, love and move on, harboring pain causes physical pain and make us miss the beauty that is all around us.

As a single mom, I look at all the things my kids didn’t get to do because of lack of funds or someone to take them. I see what I would have liked to have done for my kids. Yet I look at my kids and for all the pain, ramen, and thrift clothes, they have grown into amazing people who are giving back to their communities. What do I want to focus on? The latter I think.

How are you talking to yourself?
What are you saying?
Turn it around - what is the opposite of that?
Say it,
You are enough
you have enough
you do enough (maybe too much)

Working with the homeless has taught me how important it is to be in the moment and let fears of the future go. Worry, stress, fear, rob us from the now.

Change your life one thought at a time
Coach Laurie

]]><![CDATA[Why I Need A Coach]]>Thu, 11 Dec 2014 19:13:09 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/why-i-need-a-coch

I have supportive and wonderful friends, human friends, friends who want me to be okay!! So in a recent frustrated venting I shared my fears, once I hit send and vented. I suddenly felt better! I realized that I was on my path and that I would continue to trust and believe and put one foot in front of the other. Said friend, didn’t want me to be scared and worried and came up with a plan because now she was scared and worried. Sent me on a mission to go forth and conquer said plan. Not my plan. As a coach I know when we are not invested in a plan we don’t make it happen.

The reason we NEED a Coach is, had I called my Coach rather than venting on a friend, the outcome for me would have been better. I would have instantly felt better and I would have had a plan. MY PLAN. Not a “fix-it” plan. My friend wouldn’t have been sick with worry trying to figure out how to help me.
Have you heard that saying “God gives grace to those who need it, when they need it?” God gave me the grace to get through the difficult situation. I needed it. Friend didn’t get that grace she only got grief.
I was venting to complain and in reality had I called a coach I would have been heard at a deeper level and a break through would have happened. Instead I spent energy trying to defend myself and get out of a plan that wasn’t mine. I could have gone from 0 to 60 and been on my way instead of taking the back roads getting good advice that wasn’t for me.

Next time I call my coach, we work through it. Then I use friend time for friend stuff rather than putting them in a situation to “help” me. I don’t need help, neither do you! You NEED to be heard!! You need questions that will access that inner brilliant part of you. You know your destiny, sometimes you just need some one to ask the right questions and give you the right challenges.

Here’s to calling the Coach FIRST
Coach Laurie

]]><![CDATA[Say it isn't So!!]]>Wed, 05 Nov 2014 16:49:36 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/say-it-isnt-so

I saw a survey today by A.T. & T. saying 98 percent of drivers who have a cell phone, use it!! While driving. It is sad but true. Of course the survey is to promote their mobile app that silences your phone and sends messages to the sender that you are driving. BUT, it got me thinking about something I read in Arianna Huffington's book "Thrive", take a tech break. If you are at the computer get up. How about using our driving time as "No Tech Time?" The Huffington Post has a blog about re-thinking work and well being, called Re-Think. Many of us still have kids at home. Let's make a commitment to not only be a great role model with "No Texting while DRIVING", but let's show them how to take a tech break and renew our minds and health just a few minutes at a time.

Here's to time away from the screen!!!
Coach Laurie

]]><![CDATA[Say it isn't So!!]]>Tue, 09 Sep 2014 16:48:31 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/screaming-memies

Are you a screamer? In talking with single moms, many have confessed they are screamers. The level of frustration in just survival becomes so intense that “screaming” is just what happens. Most tell me they don’t want to scream at their kids. There is an old adage “act or re-act” screaming is usually reacting. And no matter how much easier it is to scream then take action, it doesn’t work. It is not a good or effective way of communicating. Not to worry, it can be tamed. The first step is recognizing and owning the screaming. Once you recognize it you can begin to try other methods. When you start to scream, you recognize you are screaming, just stop. (unless the child is running out in front of a car) take a step back. What do you want to accomplish? What started the screaming? Take a breath, count to ten. Once you get some space from it you can brainstorm with friends, look on line for suggestions, hire a coach or talk really quiet. It will take the kids awhile to figure out your new method, they are used to ignoring your screaming. Screaming is accusatory so most people just ignore it. If you scream at your kids in front of others, it is awkward for the on looker and humiliating to the child. There are better ways to get your point across.

Are you a screamer?

What steps are you willing to take to stop the insanity?

Feel free to comment below and be part of a discussion.

What works? What doesn’t?

Hears to your inside voice...

Coach Laurie

]]><![CDATA[The Saddest Happy Person]]>Wed, 13 Aug 2014 18:03:24 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/the-saddest-happy-person

So many of us are so saddened by the loss of Robin Williams at his own hand. I was shocked when I heard he was dead and then so incredibly sad when I heard it was suicide.

(1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Hot line

I also struggle with depression. Many of us do. I have seen so many posts about suicide these last few days. "The ultimate act of selfishness", "what a waste", other negative emotions. When someone commits suicide it will often solidify another strugglers decision to do the same.

If you struggle with depression get help. I isolated my self and that was very unhealthy. Finally I got help, the drugs had to be adjusted and that was hard (over drugging is a problem too). the Counselors were helpful but one moved away and one got out of the business (can you say abandonment). Get tested it could be allergies or like me it may be from severe abuse.

(1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Hot line

I just want you to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not a TRAIN. My hope is in Jesus Christ, that kept me going knowing that God loves me and that even when we walk through dark valleys He is there. What ever your God is...like Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery programs, believing in a higher power can make all the difference.

Some people say meds are bad, some people say prayer is the only thing that will heal you. Both are good. But healing takes ACTION. I have a dear friend struggling with depression and she is making sure she is not isolated. She is on meds that have had to be adjusted, thus taking more time. She has a counselor and people who pray with her and for her.

Depression can make us act crazy, cry a lot, give up hope. We don't understand it and we can't figure out why we can't get out of bed. I am so very glad that I didn't give in to the temptation to end it all. I am so glad I chose not to believe the words of an enemy that says "what good are you anyway?" "Everyone will be better off with out you" These are lies. Find someone to listen, believe you will come out stronger on the other side, ask what the depression can teach you.

(1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Hot line

You will make it

You will come through

There is hope

Depression may not be "Just Temporary" but there is long term help for it.

Please don't give in, give up!!

The world needs you and is waiting for your brilliance to shine through.

It will shine through

Keep going

One baby step

one appointment

telling one friend who will believe you

BELIEVE

Praying for you,
Coach Laurie
Did Not See That Coming

]]><![CDATA[What We Believe About Ourselves]]>Sun, 03 Aug 2014 05:50:26 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/what-we-believe-about-ourselves

It’s funny what we believe about ourselves. I am getting a “Makeover.” First I had to look at my facial features and decide what category I fell into. I chose the one with the “lump of clay nose.” My makeover artist asked me why I chose it and I said “because I have a big nose.” She looked at me so funny and said, “no you don’t.” My rebuttal, “yes I do.” We continued this for awhile until she showed me a picture I sent her before the makeover. She had me look at my nose, I still saw big. What I realized through this? Someone in my past told me I had a big nose and I should wear my hair high on top to distract from it. I believed it. I believed it so much that when I looked in the mirror I saw a big nose. How does this happen? My belief system is so strong that when faced with truth I couldn’t believe it, even when I saw it, because the brain is seeing what we believe, not what is the truth. It made me wonder what else I am believing that is not true? This was such a revelation because I believed it but didn’t voice it so friends couldn’t correct me or point it out. It was so deep set. What are you believing about yourself that just isn’t true?

I’m too old? I couldn’t do that? Good things never happen to me?

What ever it is, when you catch it…challenge it… because your brain will believe it if that is what you are telling it and that is what you will see. Try changing the dialog in your head.

You are beautiful and good things want to happen for you!!

Live What you Love,

CoachLaurie

]]><![CDATA[Gratitude Happens]]>Sat, 21 Jun 2014 21:00:07 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/gratitude-happens

Whenever I hear someone say “have an attitude of gratitude” something inside me cringes a little. For a long time I thought something was wrong with me. I heard a speaker say “It’s not an attitude of gratitude, but a practice of gratitude” and that resonated with me. Gratitude is hard work, especially when we are in a difficult place. I know if I start thinking about all the things I am grateful for it might pull me out of a funk. Yet I resist. Is it just me?

This week I was facing some struggles and I made a decision to stay right in the moment. When my thoughts wandered to “what am I going to do?” I brought them back to the present moment. How was I in this very moment? I had a roof over my head, food in my cupboards, a car that ran. I was not hungry, I was not in any danger. I was safe in my home with plenty around me. That is when gratitude happened. I was so caught off guard that here in the moment with all the wonderfulness of my life in the span of less than a minuted I had gone from sheer panic, to full blown gratitude. True gratitude where I felt it. I wasn’t trying to have an attitude of gratitude, I wasn’t trying to feel better by making a list of all the things I was grateful for, but I chose to be very present to the moment I was in and that there was absolutely no lack in that moment. That’s when I began to dance.

Are you “Dancing in the Moment?”
Coach Laurie

]]><![CDATA[Before You Do Anything Else]]>Fri, 13 Jun 2014 18:55:37 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/before-you-do-anything-else

It seems like I am getting bombarded with “before you do anything else... do this or that.
Who am I supposed to listen to? If I did do all the “before you do anything else’s... I would spend my whole day doing all these things and not be able to get on with my life. I am a learner, I will try most anything that sounds reasonable, but i can’t do them all and i can’t do them all -- all the time and i certainly can’t do them all “before I do anything else.

Shall I drink water before I meditate, pray before I get up? Exercise before I eat? Everybody has a different idea of what is really important and non negotiable. So this is what I have decided... are you ready? .... I do what I want, taking into consideration all the “MUSTS” put out daily and then I choose what is good for me. What is right for me. My style, my body, my life.

What about you? What is best for you? What is it you need that fuels you and inspires you? I say Do it!!! Life is to short to try to do everything others think we need to do. Do what you want to do. What works for you. What is good for you. Before you do anything else..... Take care of you.

Live What You Love
Coach Laurie

didnotseethatcoming.com

]]><![CDATA[When Others Move Forward]]>Fri, 18 Apr 2014 15:06:31 GMThttp://www.didnotseethatcoming.com/blog/when-others-move-forward

I just took a huge step in my life. I moved forward. It was awesome and wonderful and I am so grateful and happy for my new adventure.
All that said. I have people in my life who are now moving forward. I am so excited and happy for them. But I'm not gonna lie, it's hard. The shoe is on the other foot. Yes I am being supportive, yes I am being encouraging, but then I think inside..."What about me?" I'm realizing the level of faith and believing I called upon to make it through my own move, is what i am calling on to make it through their move(s). I have to believe not only that this is good for them, but that I will be okay and that it is somehow good for me too. In writing it, it seems self centered... whaaaa what about me. But in all honesty when things are good I like them to stay that way. So now I choose the same faith and belief. And voila, that gets the focus off of me, (worry) and back on them (adventure) and I find myself letting go and trusting that this change is good all the way around and it is. I see now why people have a hard time encouraging others to move forward when the "moving forward" affects them in a hard way. Encouraging and blessing others isn't always that easy. Sometimes it takes good self talk and putting aside my own fear. Ouch.. I said it... now I can continue to move forward and bless others... very aware of the vicious cycle of fear and adventure and the self talk that goes with it.
Make it a great day!!
Coach Laurie

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