Gratitude saves lives,
Coach Laurie
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What are the thoughts that run through your head? Life sucks? I'll never survive single parenting? Some times all too true and oh so dangerous. What you think on is what comes true in your life. I know you might be thinking, you are telling me I am bringing all this grief on myself. What I am saying is that what we focus on is perpetuated in our life. Have you ever noticed when things are going good and you are focusing on how great life is... that things seem to go smooth? When you are having a good day and thinking "uh oh" this can't last, something bad is going to happen', it does. Focusing on the good things and the beautiful things in life takes a lot of practice. The old destructive thoughts are comforting and familiar and they want to come back. My friend Cheri and I were discussing this and she said it just feels so phony. Last week I had the privilege of riding the train to work and back each day. I grew up on the beach so enjoying the water view from the train felt like a luxury. I felt so grateful for so much and that spilled into my day. So we decided if you are plagued with the old life sucks thoughts, find a place you can go that will stir your true gratitude. The beach, a garden nursery, a view of the mountains. What is it that stirs you to your soul? Where is that place? I dare you to find it in reality or pictures and let it be your place to bring you back to gratitude when life really truly sucks. Henry Ford says it best "whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right". My favorite book of encouragement the Bible says "you'll do best by filling your minds and meditation on thing true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious --the best, not the worst: the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. From the Message. Gratitude saves lives, Coach Laurie
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When I became a single parent there was so much pressure to go to work. My kids had already suffered from the split, I had been a stay home mom so this would be a huge adjustment for them. I looked for things I could do at or near home. When it was evident I could no longer pay the rent I was humbled to accept on offer of someone who had a camper I could use. A friend had a camp connection and I ended up at a wonderful summer camp. I parked the trailer and worked in the kitchen for room and board. The kids had access to me 24/7. What a wonderful unexpected answer to my dreadful situation. I hold to the fact that at that time leaving the kids would be detrimental to them at that time and I held on to my value of being there for them. I know it sounds crazy and I think most of my friends and family thought I had lost it. I believe if we hold out for what we believe in, the answers show up. Was it my dream to live in a camper with three kids? I don't think so... but it became our adventure. Good things show up in unexpected ways. My hope is for single moms to be able to support their kids by having at least one of their jobs out of the home or with flexibility to work around the kids schedule. I know their are creative ways to start businesses. In fact in Washington State there is a loan program called Washington Cash http://washingtoncash.org/ .
As people of integrity and values it is amazing what liars we can be. I know I hate it and when I called myself out, my life began to change. I found myself saying "I'd give anything to have one of those". NOT, I wouldn't give anything, it is a lie. When hoping for something great to happen I would find myself saying "it'll never happen". Is that the truth? My coach challenge is to look at the things you are saying to yourself and ask if it is true. Notice your self talk and check for lies. Some how statements like these just slide by when they are in regards to ourselves, however they are very damaging and limiting. When you recognize the lies in your self talk, reframe them, say them different, speak the truth. “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
― Winston S. Churchill I LOVE Graduation ceremonies, they are inspiring, While I was waiting for graduation to start I was chatting with a woman about what she loved and what her dream job would be. She told me she can't give herself that luxury. She told me that she has to work a job that will give her benefits and that even though she hates her job she can't dare to think about what she loves it would be too painful. It is not the first and I am sure not the last time I hear those sentiments. I know the fear, I know the desperation and believe me, I know the struggle. I am so glad I dared to dream, to hope, to believe life is more than what we are living. I dare you to entertain the possibilities. When I realized the worst thing that could happen is disappointment I said "bring it on". Dare to dream and dare to be disappointed, disappointment doesn't kill us, but stuffing our dreams just might. Where do I start? It's been so long I don't even know what I love. Make a list of 20 things you love and do it every day for a week. Think about what you loved as a child? What did you play at? What made you happy? Start there and let it grow..... What is your belief system? or b.s.? What is holding you back from taking a step toward your dream? I can't because... It won't work... some times reality gets in the way. Re-framing our limiting self destructive cant's with "What If". What if even though it seems impossible some how some way it can work. That opens the door to other options, other possibilities. Can you think of one limiting belief that is getting in your way? How can you re-frame or re word it. Most of the time we have to convince our mind of the possibilities, speak it and make it happen. What if.... I write in my book about how I blamed my husband for things that I couldn't get done. What I realized after the divorce is I was still CHOOSING not to move forward. Now I had no one to blame but myself. When you have a dream and want to move on it look at what your role is in making it happen. What are your excuses? Taking charge of your life is so empowering. What is one thing you can do today toward your goal? Your dream? One little thing?
Today I was chatting with friend and colleague Leslie Gilchrist about "sudden chaos" her field of coaching. I realized this is really my field as well. When we become single parents it an throw us into sudden chaos with our world turned upside down and sideways. Life as we knew it forever changed. At first it can seem impossible to find a new groove. Let me assure you, we do. It happens, life goes on and we make our way. I advocate for more than making your way, for living and thriving in the midst of chaos and survival. Keeping your eyes on your dream, your purpose, your goal. It may seem like it's dead, gone, never going to happen. Don't loose heart, it is the heart beat of your life. Your purpose, desires and dreams can stay alive and fuel your daily life. By breaking it down to do-able steps. I knew I couldn't JUMP back into radio but I worked out a strategy and a plan and fueled it regularly and it kept me in a state of hope for the future and that is essential to survival. Keep dreaming....it can and will happen...
Coach Laurie It's official... after 14 years of being a Certified Life Coach, I am now Board Certified. I am stepping up my coaching and taking on Single Mom's who have a dream and stay home mom's looking for ways to save money, make money or finding creative ways to continue to stay home or work at home while raising kids. For the longest time I was looking for coaching clients that could pay so I could coach mom's Pro-Bono. I realized how much I missed being around mom's and their endless energy and decided to put it out there and find clients who can find creative ways to afford coaching. I know that coaching changed my life and gave me the confidence and courage to raise my kids and do it in a way that I didn't sell them out by working away from home so many hours as to defeat the purpose of raising my own kids. I have been looking into the idea of sponsorship coaching. Looking for someone to sponsor you to get coaching. If there is one thing I learned about being a single mom is that people want to help and they are looking for ways to do so. I also know that if a mom gets extra money... it doesn't usually go to her well being but to the necessities of clothes, food and basic needs. If you are looking to support a single mom this is a fabulous way. Coaching is an amazing support for moms. I don’t know about you but holidays are pretty tough on me. All the sharing between families and wanting to offer grace to my kids for their choices. Wanting to be the one they want to be with. It has been 13 years now and I think it is getting a little easier. I am learning to let go. To be at peace with the holidays and where everyone ends up. At this writing I am taken back to an Easter about ten years ago, i put a lot of effort into the perfect day and well, let’s just say... it was a disaster, i spent the day in tears. I am sure no one else remembers that day at all. But to me it was another reminder of what it means to be a split family with different ideas and values. I am happy to say, all these years later even though it isn’t a traditional Easter at a family members house, it is Easter with most of my children and grand-daughter so time does heal. I am grateful. At the time i couldn’t see that there could be any happy ending or light at the end of the tunnel. I am not saying I no longer struggle with holidays, but i am learning to take them for what they are, time with my kids, in what ever shape it comes in. Happy Easter.
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AuthorLaurie Ann Hardie Archives
July 2015
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