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Janine's story

5/22/2010

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Hi. I'm Laurie and I'm talking with my friend Janine who did a stint as a single parent.

Janine:  Becoming a single parent was her worst nightmare coming true, "I thought.  I never wanted to raise my kids on my own, but  in the midst of that experience I realized I was much stronger than I thought in the begining.  I could do it alone even though i didn't want to and it wasn't the ideal but i realized my kids were going to be okay.  I discovered how to do it in a whole new way, that is what single parenting is, it is not what we plan for.  It was just a year for me before I found a great man who I married.  That has its own set of problems.  in fact if my kids had been older i probably would have opted to stay single because you want to focus on the kids and it is tough for them . but it was hard to carry that burden by myself.

Laurie:  When you become a single parent it feels like a trauma,  can you talk about that? 

Janine: In the begining I was so devastated by my husband leaving me for another woman and abandoning his girls.  It made it hard for me to accept then when I got to the point I could move forward I could become a parent again.  That was a huge challenge to focus on them and not myself.  Once i made the switch and got over the devestation i was able to focus on my girls again.

Laurie:  You ended up homeless right?

Janine:  Yes, we were put in a hotel by a group that helps women .  I had a kitchen so i could cook and I drove my daughter to kindergarten.  But it wasn't a good area.

Lauire:  Did you feel vulnerable?

Janine:  Yes there was drug dealing going on and so I left alot and went to friends and meetings where ever I could get support.

Lauire: You told me about a friend you met while going through this.

Janine:  Yes, her name was Leslie and she came into my life at the most perfect time.  I was at Mc Donalds beause i had enough money for a coffee and the kids could play for free.  I overheard some women talking and one of them was going through a divorce so i turned around and joined in their conversation and she and her husband became a wonderful support for me.  She was like an angel coming into my life, I was so devastated and although i loved my girls i didn't want to live I needed something to pick me up and she was such a blessing. 

Laurie:  I remember when you told me your story i couldn't believe that you had been through so much.  I had no idea you had been in a shelter and how low you had gotten because were so together.  When my husband left i remember calling you knowing you would understand.  You told me i\I would make it.  I was trying to rationalize it all and you said "it is what it is".
.
Laurie:  I am going to take your picture to post on the site because sometimes i think people assume something is wrong with you if your husband walks out.  I think people are afraid if it can happen to you it might happen to them so they just think that the one who was left did something very wrong.

Thanks Janine  **to be continued**
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