Now that my daughter is begining to show, it makes me think about how far i have come.  My child is becoming a parent, While i am starting the second half of my life.  It is a very odd feeling.  I was talking with a good friend today and we were talking about how we wouldn't want to be young again.  I like where i am in my life, i think i am starting to find some peace with it.

Met with a fellow single mom, her kids are still at home and helping with the bills.  My friend works two jobs and still can't make it.  What is wrong with this picture?  My heart goes out to you single mom's who are breaking your neck to make a living.  Hold on and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  It may seem like things will never get better but hold on.  Allow others to help you and be there for you.  The isolation is tough, no time for friends or family just work work work.  Reach out for small meetings, by phone or a quick coffee with a friend. 

I guess this just goes to show that while living the dream, life still gets in the way.  This week was our third show and there were some technical difficulties. Which is okay, but some other things got stirred up for me.  Maybe this won't work.  Maybe we will have to move to another staton. All the maybes and what ifs made it for a tough week.  I realized some of my old fears were creeping up and trying to take over.  It took a few days, but now i have decided to live as a participator not a victim.  Problems can be resolved easily but the fear of losing all i have worked for sent me in a tailspin.  That is the gremlin voice, who do you think you are to...... have a show, write a book, etc.  It screams loud and what is worse, is, i listen and react.  Today is a fresh start and i get to keep my dream, it is my choice I can stand up for myself and be empowered. How come i couldn't just know that from the beginning?  How come i had to go through all the pain and then work of letting go AGAIN? it is all part of the process.  I hope i am not alone.

Research shows January is one of the toughest months of the year, including a high suicide rate.  We made it through, it is February and the sun is shining where i live.  Friend and coach Shannon Bruce posted on fb: "Hey women friends. Question for you: You juggle so many balls every day, right? Guess which one gets dropped the most? The ball named "you"! Stop it....Go ahead do one small thing for yourself today. Just like the McDonald's ad says, "You deserve a break today!" You'll be a better wife, mom, friend, business owner and more!"  It is true, we put ourselves last, but when we take the time to take care of ourselves we are better for others.  Funny huh, we think sacrificing ourselves makes us better for others and it drains us.  Taking care of ourselves gives us energy. Try it, and thanks for the reminder Shannon. Post here how you did some thing nurturing for yourself today.  I stayed in bed an extra half hour looking