In a recent Face Book survey I asked “what the biggest struggle for single parents?” You answered: Time, Money, and issues with sharing and raising children.
Where to start? Time? Money? Let’s take money. I am not a financial guru and I am not going to tell you how to spend your money. I will tell you that there were many years when I wasn’t sure if my kids would get to bring home their school pictures because of lack of funds. There were many meals where we ate “Ramen Again?” All this to say that when I look back on those days I can’t look to my check book and tell you how we did it. In fact if I looked to my check book there was always “NOT ENOUGH.”
Where to start? Time? Money? Let’s take money. I am not a financial guru and I am not going to tell you how to spend your money. I will tell you that there were many years when I wasn’t sure if my kids would get to bring home their school pictures because of lack of funds. There were many meals where we ate “Ramen Again?” All this to say that when I look back on those days I can’t look to my check book and tell you how we did it. In fact if I looked to my check book there was always “NOT ENOUGH.”
What I learned was my check book or bank account didn’t reflect what was possible. I chose to believe that things would work out. I chose to believe that what we needed would show up. I chose to not live in “not enough” it wasn’t easy, and logically it felt insane. I was working full time and raising three kids and at the end of the pay check their wasn’t money for “fun” or clothing or extra’s.
I shared with cousin Donna one particularly pity party evening, “How am I going to make it?” her wisdom stopped me in my tracks. “I don’t go there, it is too dangerous.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. I am all about the pity party if you have read “Did Not See That Coming: Hope for the single parent” I was thrown a pity party and it changed my life. So cousin Donna saying don’t go there sort of pulled the rug out from under me. I looked out my window while on the phone with her and on the sill was the big black words BELIEVE!! That was my answer, my stronghold, that is where I would continue to get strength for one more day.
I shared with cousin Donna one particularly pity party evening, “How am I going to make it?” her wisdom stopped me in my tracks. “I don’t go there, it is too dangerous.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. I am all about the pity party if you have read “Did Not See That Coming: Hope for the single parent” I was thrown a pity party and it changed my life. So cousin Donna saying don’t go there sort of pulled the rug out from under me. I looked out my window while on the phone with her and on the sill was the big black words BELIEVE!! That was my answer, my stronghold, that is where I would continue to get strength for one more day.
As a life coach I know what we focus on is what we get. When my focus was on paying bills, I got bills. I know this seems backwards, but “I have to pay my bills” is actually a negative. So I changed my thoughts to “Awesome I am paying this bill.” It is such a subtle shift but the way we think is crucial to what shows up in our lives.
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Recently I watched a video of a Comedian/Motivational Speaker, he tells the story how he was up for Comedy Central’s Comedian of the year and just before the voting was done, CC pulled his special and ran the special for his competitor. Rather than “whaaaa that’s not fair.” He was so excited, he thought man how powerful am I that a TV network pulled my special to help the other guy win!!! Guess who won? Right, Kyle Cease, I love that way of thinking.
I choose that way of thinking. In the beginning it is hard, but as we take every thought captive and pay attention to what we are thinking, things will change. And really, what have you got to loose? Remember the story in the Bible about Jesus feeding the thousands with just a couple of loaves of bread and a few fish?
I choose that way of thinking. In the beginning it is hard, but as we take every thought captive and pay attention to what we are thinking, things will change. And really, what have you got to loose? Remember the story in the Bible about Jesus feeding the thousands with just a couple of loaves of bread and a few fish?
I dare you to notice, then change your thinking. Start a gratitude journal and focus on all that you do have and all you are grateful for.
It might be a little hard at first but like any new AWESOME behavior it is WORTH the effort, it is a gift you can pass on to your children.
I dare you!!!
Coach Laurie
I dare you!!!
Coach Laurie
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