I've been guilty of giving in to doubt and fears. I start to think negative destructive thoughts. Sometimes I would think to myself. "I'm never going to make it". Sometimes single parenting was so overwhelming. I remember Cousin Donna saying to me one night, "I just can't let myself go there." Giving fear a foot-hold was too dangerous for me. I decided I would not go there either. Sometimes it is as simple as mind over matter. Choosing to believe I am going to be okay. I am going to make it....no matter what. I'm Possible.
I was in a group where a mom was telling us how hard it was to let go of being so clean all the time. She says she can't relax until everything is done and she knows the kids pay a price for that. She of course let us know that her house was so clean you could eat off the floor. I chided in saying, "yeah, mine too because there is food on it". I am the first to admit I am a recovering messy. My friend Jennifer says her biggest struggle is mom guilt. If she is working she feels guilty for being gone, if she is home she feels guilty for not making money for her family. Same with cleaning, I feel guilty if my house is a mess. I feel guilty when I'm hanging out with the kids because I "should" be home cleaning. If there is any thing we can let go of maybe, just maybe it's the "mom guilt". You do enough. In the end what are the kids going to remember?
Add Comment You are enough 08/22/2012
Imagine, people inspired by you simply being you. You are enough. Some days the overwhelm wants to take over and send us into despair but remember you make a difference. You are enough. Choose to believe it. You are going to make it and you can do more than survive. You can thrive. Remember what you love. Add Comment The Inner Voice 08/01/2012
When you put it that way. I want to be responsible for the positive "inner voice messages" not the negative, debilitating messages. Especially if my voice will be their inner voice after I've gone to the grave. Something to think about. Add Comment July 27th, 2012 07/27/2012
What are your superpowers? It is very easy to get caught up in what we are not doing, what we don't have and lack. Take a minute and think about all the amazing things you do. Pretty amazing huh? Focus on those things today and how you have held it all together in spite of the odds. Relish your superpowers.
Coach Laurie Add Comment Time Versus Money 07/23/2012
Yeah right! A catch 22 (did I just date myself?) Easier said than done. How does a single parent do both? Work and be available to the kids? I can only tell you that I was determined to be the one to raise my kids. We were sold a lie that we could do it all and have it all. When we sell ourselves out to 24/7 career the kids miss out on us. As a single mom I felt I had no choice, it was either leave the kids and work or not work and be with the kids. I wanted some solution and whether I was just plain crazy or on to something I knew I had to find a way to make both happen. I did, and you can too. Our values and intentions play out even when we don't realize it. Hold on to what you know you want for your kids. Ask God or the Universe to bring it about even when you see no possibilities that is when miracles happen. Your kids need you more than your money. Keep Believing.
Add Comment Building a home business? 07/15/2012
If you are trying to build a home business so you can be home and available to your family. Sandi Krakowski has a wonderful book called Reading their Minds. It is 27 dollars but you can download it free to your kindle or computer. http://arealchange.com/ She has built many very successful business' over the last 14 years. A lot of her materials are free including a 30 day free program. She is a Christian and isn't afraid to talk about it. She is internet savy and knows how to have an internet presence to build a successful home business. She is a trainer, it is not a "network marketing" program but if that is what you do, she can teach you how to sell.
My desire for moms is to be able to work from home and make enough money to support a family. If you work out of your home this is not a judgement, I had to do both. I just know that it seems that even working full time it is a struggle to support a family. What do you love? What can you turn into a business? It is okay to be successful, it is okay to make money. Now with the internet it makes it a lot easier. What I love about Sandi is she address' our scarcity thoughts. Which is a mindset I lived in for many years. Thinking thoughts like "There isn't enough. How are we going to make it?" And that breeds more of the same. When we begin to change our thoughts our brain we can begin to change our lives.
Just wanted to share a resource.
Coach Laurie Add Comment What You Think 07/09/2012
What are the thoughts that run through your head? Life sucks? Some times all too true and oh so dangerous. What you think on is what comes true in your life. I know you might be thinking, you are telling me I am bringing all this grief on myself. What I am saying is that what we focus on is perpetuated in our life. Have you ever noticed when things are going good and you are focusing on how great life is... that things seem to go smooth? When you are having a good day and thinking "uh oh" this can't last, something bad is going to happen', it does. Focusing on the good things and the beautiful things in life takes a lot of practice. The old destructive thoughts are comforting and familiar and they want to come back. My friend Cheri and I were discussing this and she said it just feels so phony. Last week I had the privilege of riding the train to work and back each day. I grew up on the beach so enjoying the water view from the train felt like a luxury. I felt so grateful for so much and that spilled into my day. So we decided if you are plagued with the old life sucks thoughts, find a place you can go that will stir your true gratitude. The beach, a garden nursery, a view of the mountains. What is it that stirs you to your soul? Where is that place? I dare you to find it in reality or pictures and let it be your place to bring you back to gratitude when life really truly sucks. Henry Ford says it best "whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right". My favorite book of encouragement the Bible says "you'll do best by filling your minds and meditation on thing true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious --the best, not the worst: the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. From the Message.
Gratitude saves lives,
Add Comment Being with the Kids 06/30/2012
When I became a single parent there was so much pressure to go to work. My kids had already suffered from the split, I had been a stay home mom so this would be a huge adjustment for them. I looked for things I could do at or near home. When it was evident I could no longer pay the rent I was humbled to accept on offer of someone who had a camper I could use. A friend had a camp connection and I ended up at a wonderful summer camp. I parked the trailer and worked in the kitchen for room and board. The kids had access to me 24/7. What a wonderful unexpected answer to my dreadful situation. I hold to the fact that at that time leaving the kids would be detrimental to them at that time and I held on to my value of being there for them. I know it sounds crazy and I think most of my friends and family thought I had lost it. I believe if we hold out for what we believe in, the answers show up. Was it my dream to live in a camper with three kids? I don't think so... but it became our adventure. Good things show up in unexpected ways. My hope is for single moms to be able to support their kids by having at least one of their jobs out of the home or with flexibility to work around the kids schedule. I know their are creative ways to start businesses. In fact in Washington State there is a loan program called Washington Cash http://washingtoncash.org/ .
Add Comment Telling Ourselves Lies 06/27/2012
As people of integrity and values it is amazing what liars we can be. I know I hate it and when I called myself out, my life began to change. I found myself saying "I'd give anything to have one of those". NOT, I wouldn't give anything, it is a lie. When hoping for something great to happen I would find myself saying "it'll never happen". Is that the truth? My coach challenge is to look at the things you are saying to yourself and ask if it is true. Notice your self talk and check for lies. Some how statements like these just slide by when they are in regards to ourselves, however they are very damaging and limiting. When you recognize the lies in your self talk, reframe them, say them different, speak the truth. “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”
― Winston S. Churchill Add Comment Graduation = Possibilities 06/12/2012
I LOVE Graduation ceremonies, they are inspiring, While I was waiting for graduation to start I was chatting with a woman about what she loved and what her dream job would be. She told me she can't give herself that luxury. She told me that she has to work a job that will give her benefits and that even though she hates her job she can't dare to think about what she loves it would be too painful. It is not the first and I am sure not the last time I hear those sentiments. I know the fear, I know the desperation and believe me, I know the struggle. I am so glad I dared to dream, to hope, to believe life is more than what we are living. I dare you to entertain the possibilities. When I realized the worst thing that could happen is disappointment I said "bring it on". Dare to dream and dare to be disappointed, disappointment doesn't kill us, but stuffing our dreams just might.
Where do I start? It's been so long I don't even know what I love.
Make a list of 20 things you love and do it every day for a week.
Think about what you loved as a child? What did you play at? What made you happy?
Start there and let it grow..... Add Comment << Previous
Imagine this, people inspired by you simply being you. You are enough. Some days the overwhelm wants to take over and send us into despair but remember you make a difference. You are enough. You are going to make it and you can do more than survive. You can thrive. Remember what you love.
Laurie Ann Hardie